Little spoons don't ask big questions
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
