I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
