She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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