i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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