I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
accomplished twins. life is a go
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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