I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
