I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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