If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
