apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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