even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Mom said you looked used
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
