I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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