Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
