This is not my ceiling
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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