Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
