My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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