I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
