So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
What a dumb baby whore.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
