I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
