She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
