fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
And then he peed in my hair
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
