So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
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high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
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You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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