just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
