Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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