We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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