oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
