You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
