I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
