dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
