She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
