would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
