toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
