Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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