i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
