There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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