I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
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