she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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