I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Ketchup is God's man juice
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize