we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
