Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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