But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
