drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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