I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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