I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
