the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
