I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
