I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
