The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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