i was born a porn star she said
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
