Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
