I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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