He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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