Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
