You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
