College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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