And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
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the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
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What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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