Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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