So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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