I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
